Driving Out The Demons — The Fear of Driving

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Working with Terry, My Ride Drive Trainer

I was allocated to Terry, a local member of the Ride Drive team, and after patiently spending time with me on the phone we arranged my first appointment.

As the day drew near I began to experience doubt mixed with fear. Something inside me was obviously beginning to feel threatened and an urge not to go through with it began to appear within me. Fortunately, I resisted.

Terry arrived at my door step right on time and within minutes had put me at ease. We talked as he gently pulled information from me, no doubt taking mental notes that would help him to help me.

Rather than giving me a command to lead him to my van he actually made the decision to go out completely mine. This I found empowering. I was asked to go where I wanted and so I trundled around for a while as Terry and I became used to each other and the van’s capabilities. He didn’t stretch me, which was nice, but asked me questions about my concerns and about the vehicle, always caring for my welfare.

Terry Always Made me Feel Like I was in Control

Throughout our meeting, Terry remained professional and confident, which made me feel as though I was in the company of someone who understood me and had the ability to take me forward. At the end of the session we talked about my experiences as he outlined for me the process we were embarking upon.

Subsequent sessions were booked and each time Terry moved me just that little bit further forward, always keeping me inside my tolerance zone, as we took the tiny steps towards tackling my biggest fear of all – merging onto dual carriageways and motorways.

Cleverly, Terry identified three issues with the van. Firstly, the position of my wheelchair meant I was not addressing the steering wheel correctly, making right turns particularly difficult and stressful on my back. Secondly, a hand control was fouling the windscreen washer switch and there was a dreadful blind spot down the right side.

Upon his recommendations the van went in for adjustment, and at the next session, Terry presented me with a special auxiliary mirror, which he fitted onto the top of the standard door mirror. The difference these modifications made to my van was brilliant. So much easier to drive.

The First Time we Used a Slip Road
was on the Basingstoke Ring Road, and I Cried.

When I drove the first slip road we attempted I didn’t scream and throw up all over the dashboard as I thought I would. We stopped, had a drink of water and did some controlled breathing – then we had another go.

We repeated this exercise week by week until I began to really believe that not every vehicle in Hampshire was heading for the same bit of tarmac as me. I learnt how to manage risk and to have confidence in myself and my vehicle.

It was my suggestion that we should try the London bound M3. Terry had always given me control over the activities for my sessions and suddenly this seemed like the right time to do this. Well it was, and boy, was I proud!

Down the slip road I went, indicator on and checking mirrors all the way. I reached the end of the slip road, still on the power, and having planned for my gap, I was out into the first lane. On I went, driving forward, up to motorway speed and not a panic attack in sight. I was there. I’d done it.

Where There is the Will There is the Way

It may seem like a small thing, driving a van on a motorway; after all, look at all the millions of people who do it every day. But in amongst those millions there will be a handful who thought they would never brush their own teeth again, but discovered that with the right technology, and with the help of the right people, and the spirit to help them fight, they could.

My life now is more complete than it has ever been since that fateful afternoon in January 2000. I now have my independence back and the motorways and dual carriageways of the UK are mine to conquer. For the first time in a long time I can talk of holidays and trips to see my family knowing that any time I choose, Vincent and my dog are both there, ready for the adventure.

Article written by Ros Bracewell–Jupe, Ride Drive customer. Published with kind permission 5th October 2010.

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If you would like to send messages of good will to Ros, there is a thread running on our Driving Phobia Forums

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